Knowing that everything that slips from her mouth is a never ending lie. You wish you knew: is it the truth? But you can never tell.
She speaks eloquently with words as sweet as honey and assurance as firm as a rock.
She comes to you when you give her what she WANTS, yet she embraces your enemy when she WANTS TO.
She shuts her mouth when you demand the truth, or even worse, she corners you with her judgements, as if you did not try hard enough to understand her.
She demands you to change, yet she fails to emphathize your cry for freedom.
Yes, freedom from her lies. Freedom from the hurtful feelings of betrayal from a person you care most. Freedom from the sleepless nights of wondering 'where should I start to make her understand how disgusted I am by the fact that I probably can never ever trust her'.
I wish she knew how I feel. I wish she talked to me. I wish she asked me questions. I wish she counted me in as an important part of her life.
But no, I am just someone whom she kills slowly; she does not even try to let me in and help her.
Am I that useless?