Thoughts On New Year 2016

No one forbids you from saying 'Happy New Year'. It's the only public holiday celebrated everywhere, by everyone. It is inevitable because we cannot stop the time, and we cannot not celebrate it. At least, knowing that in between that one second to another, a new chapter will begin.

I don't know if this is one of our bad habits: to measure time. We always realize 'aw damn, another year has passed, so fast!', but pay little attention to what blessings we've gotten so far. We're too busy thinking of 'how difficult the year was' and 'more problems for the new year'. 

So with a humble heart, I should put aside my problems and say, 

Thank you, 2015, one of the most challenging years I have ever experienced. I am glad to experience each of them: love, lost, tirade, edge of the cliff, miracles, friendship, mentorship, helplessness, arrogance, minor depression, revelation of my passion, adaptation, getting to know myself.

To summarize: happiness.

I am happy and I want to stay this way.

So, no, I don't make any resolutios  because to live is to always aim for happiness, to cherish all kinds of moments, to pick up the pieces and move on, to take action and be the change you want to see.

Welcome, 2016!

Thoughts on Giving Up

"When do you know when to keep on moving or give up?"

It is difficult to distinguish whether the path you've chosen is the right one. A second thought is normal, but it leads you to question, "I had spent a generous amount of time deciding on the path I chose, but why am I now questioning that decision again?", and ultimately, "Is it too late to switch this path?", or "Should I switch my path?"

Now, you know that it is time to give up when:

1. You always look for excuses
   Whenever you make a mistake, you'll say, "Oh, I was tired", or "That's my nature. I hope you'll cope with that", or "My lecturer was not clear". If you love what you do, you won't be looking for external forces that lead to your mistakes.
2. You're not eager to expand your horizon
   You always depend on someone else to give you information on your subject. You're not eager to dig a little deeper on your own because you believe someone else will do it for you.
3. No matter how hard you try, you just can't reach it
   You like the subject, but you have no capabilities to accomplish your goals. Forget the quote "Everything is possible", and accept that you have to be realistic
4. You feel tired all the time
   Instead of taking some hobbies, sleep becomes your source of happiness. In reality, people who enjoy the path they've chosen will find happiness when doing their hobbies. Yes, their job is something that they are fond of, but there are other things they are fond of that are not translated in their job. If you are not constantly looking for productivity, you better give up.
5. You have a backup plan
   Yes, you'll switch your path, but you know it is not the end. Once you have a nicely-planned a backup plan, it's time to let go the path that has turned you into a miserable and sad person.

However, you can't freely change your path all the time just because you're bored or lazy af. Giving up is not synonymous to playing around and demand the world to serve you. Giving up shouldn't be a habit. Giving up should be a reminder that you have to work harder, as you're a few steps behind from the level you should've been, if only you had chosen this path from the beginning.

Thoughts on Living

To those who want to end their life

You cut yourself to prevent you from thinking about when to jump, when to drink, when to inject.

You feel this world is unbearable.

I understand.

You have the right to not wanting to live.

But please, hear me out.

Some people argue that life and death are options, thus every person should be granted the right to die, but dear, I should remind you one thing.

Living is never a choice.

Living is a privilege.

When you got a lucky draw
and given a privilege to do something until a certain date, 
will you maximize that privilege?

Yes, you will.

And you have to.

You won that once-in-a-lifetime lucky draw and there will be no second chance to earn that.

Life is cruel. Yes, it can be unbearable. 

Seek help.

Dark whispers telling you to leave do exist.

Please, seek help.

I always believe that everyone has a future,
because that heartbeat of yours is your purpose here.

There will always be a way.

Hang on, darling, but don't hang on in silence.

Scream.

Scream, so people know you are tired of living.

Scream, so people know that life is not okay.

Scream, so people can offer their help.

You are granted a privilege to live.
Do not let anything take that away from you.
You are born to love and be loved.

Give yourself a chance to make peace with yourself.

Give yourself a chance to make other people feel needed.

On top of that,
give yourself a chance to give something to others.

Prove that life is cruel,
but your kindness will kill this cruelness.

Make life the greatest privilege that you will never let death take it away before the assigned time.

Make your life the greatest way to touch others' hearts.

You are privileged.

Off Track: Things You Can't Have

I was once told that we should never ever listen to a particular song when we are doing something we don't want to remember. Still, I always end up doing the same mistake. Last night, I was mentally tired and I could not help myself but replayed a song, again and again.

The song made me feel like a glass half full that no matter how much water one pours in, it can never be full.

Sometimes we want something that we can't have. We want someone to fill our glass although you know your line and the other's line can never meet.

People who can't stay are like the songs I play when doing something I know I don't want to remember.

I want to enjoy that brief moment of knowing that we can live those three minutes, although we know it will hurt. I want to replay that and keep it in my head, hum it when no one is around, and close my eyes to feel it closer to my heart.

After that, the song will stuck, and the feelings you've invested too much in it become permanent marker written on the melodies, reminding you of how much you tried not to replay but you were just that curious until you drank too much of it.

Until you are no longer a glass half full because right now...

...you are just that empty.

Thoughs on Bouncing Back

I maximized the effort when writing my essay. I really did. I am a high-achiever, an ambitious girl who wants to get everything perfect. So when I got 58/100, my chest felt like pierced. My lecturer even approached me to say, "Your essay is really good, but you failed to address the question." I accepted the fact that rather than focusing on IMF, I focused more on US-China 'conflict'. I won't talk about the content of my essay here.

Usually when I got a bad grade, I'd lock myself and bang my head in disappointment (not literally), but this time, I am doing fine. I know I did really bad, but I accept the fact that I can't do anything about it now. All I have to do is to focus on my exam to ensure I'll get a satisfying final mark. Cliche? Yep. 

So I asked myself, what is really the reason, though?

Arrogance is a poisonous spirit that creeps into your mind, and the only cure for it is to be smacked by reality. This assignment, a tiny assignment (compared to other duties I have to do in the future as an adult), was promised to be returned in a month, and that one month has turned me into the biggest jerk I know (at least, in my head, because I wouldn't shout "I am smart you know!" to everyone).

I had become a jerk over a tiny assignment, so how will I be a humble person in the future?! What will happen to the promise I've made to myself, the promise of not turning into an arrogant moron?! I can't be a long-term moron, waiting for reality to smack me!

This must be universe telling me to keep humble. I realize that I've put on too high expectation on this assignment, and it had turned me into an arrogant bitch. It was that satanic whisper in my head that told me that I am a super smart lady, that I will undeniably get 80/100.  

That is why, after I felt piercings on my chest, I quickly recovered. At first I thought I was in denial, that I was actually sad but tried to look strong. However, when I came to my room, read the assignment again, and tried to cry, I couldn't. That was how I realized how reality has thrown a brick; I was hurt, but didn't bleed. I was arrogant these couple of weeks, and I deserve to be hit, but I am ready to bounce back, and this time, I hope I will bounce cautiously. 

You have to bounce, but remember, there is a ground down there. Promise me that you'll be careful next time. Promise me that you'll focus on the joy of being warned.Promise me you'll have the confidence and the humble heart.

Thoughts on Waiting

I am not going to post something about "Oh, being single is so much fun!", or "All guys are the same, they are lame" or "I am THIS independent and no one can meet my expectation". They aren't entirely true, and I believe someone can complement me.

I am 20 years old and never been in a relationship. I feel too young to make such decision, to commit into a relationship, with someone who will not stay. What is the point of wasting my time on something that I predict will end?

Having some guy friends and going on some dates make me realize that being in a relationship is not on my current to-do list. I have my reasons: it is difficult to find someone who is passionate about designing his future, and even more difficult to find a guy who properly invests in me.

What I see in my guy friends is a bunch of guys who know how to have fun but have no idea where to go. Sure, some will answer things like, "I am going to be a businessman", but I don't see what exactly lights up their eyes. Is it the fact that they can earn money, get a wife, buy them things, and travel? It is easier for me to trust a guy who is not vague in describing what he wants.

Passion is also about work ethic. Why would he say "This is my passion", but constantly put networking as the most important weapon to earn what he wants. Don't get me wrong. I agree that when he is passionate about something, he'll do ANYTHING to get what he wants, but when he is really passionate about something, he'll enjoy the journey of learning and earning what he wants. Indeed, network is important, but we need to earn OUR OWN NETWORK. True passion is when he doesn't mind to work extra hard for the sake of not getting any help from his father when looking for a job. I respect a guy who knows how to fish, not a guy whose father is a fisherman!

On top of that, I admire a guy who yearns to see the world changes. He is eager to get out of his comfort zone, face obstacles, and be the change he wants to see. He always looks forward to learn something new, from everyone. He has a humble heart and openness to listen.

I once went on a brief period of dating with a guy who knew exactly what he wants. He was confident and when I was with him, I felt secure. He was like the flight attendant during an airplane turbulence, who stood there, smiled, and said "Everything is fine, trust me." I felt lucky to have him, but something went wrong and we did not make it, and I finally discovered why: he did not invest in me. A couple months ago I was browsing my old writings when I stumbled upon my own definition of investing:

You want a relationship. The type of relationship where the room is crowded but you know he is there. And your gaze secretly swipes the room, looking for his silhouette. His silhouette is more than just a sign of being; it is the person whom you adore because he is there to support you, to comment on your music taste, or to ask you 'So aren't you going to show me your shots?' because he knows how fond you are of photography.

You don't need a constant reminder that you have someone who cares so much about you. You don't need him to like your pictures on Facebook because your appearance doesn't need a compliment. He will not text you everyday, asking 'What are you up to?' or 'What's your plan for today?' because he understands how you hate small talks.

He is the guy whose eyes spark while holding a banner saying 'Go achieve your dream!'

I want him to come up as he is. To love me in silence. To not try being the perfect guy. I don't want him to assure me all of his good qualities. I am not dumb; I don't need your explanations to see who you really are. Realness shouldn't be said as often. I demand actions. I demand consistency. And as long as he tries too hard, we better stay friends.

I want a relationship, but I don't need a guy who dramatizes his importance to manipulate our relationship, as if I should feel lucky to have him. Independence doesn't go well with 'self-centered-ness'. 

Did I mention flowers and opening door like Meghan Trainor's song? Nope. I don't want to be bought; I want to be invested in. It needs time, but turning friendship into a relationship is much more fun than prematurely popping the question.

photo credit: rocketrictic (Flickr)

I believe that this guy is somewhere out there, and I just want him to know that I can't wait to share inside jokes with him.

8-day Itinerary (Tokyo-Kyoto-Osaka)

Japan is a famous tourist destination, despite the lack of English spoken in everyday life. Nevertheless, this should not be something to be feared of when planning to travel alone (without any tour packages). The main reason is because Japanese are welcoming and are willing to explain as clear as possible (sign language was our main method of communication during our stay in Japan). In case you guys are wondering what an 8-day itinerary to Japan (Tokyo-Kyoto-Osaka) looks like, here is a sample of it. I went there on end of June 2015 with my parents. I suggest to spend more days at Kyoto and less at Osaka.

There are some things that I need to state beforehand:

• We did not purchase a JR Pass. I found it okay not to purchase one as I kept all close destinations in one day to prevent troubling transportation cost (bear in mind that transportation in Japan is expensive. Taxi is the most expensive mode transportation, while subway is the best).
•  Don’t ever show your “okay” thumb. It is rude in Japanese culture
• No tipping!
• At Tokyo, stay at Shinjuku. It is easy to go anywhere (especially when looking for food) and there are plenty of affordable hotels.
• You don’t have to fuss over finding good food in Japan. Trust me, I spent a week planning the best food itinerary yet when I got there, nearly everything I ate were fantastic.
• Subways for Tokyo and Osaka, buses for Kyoto. Buy the 1-day pass for Kyoto bus for Y1,500 per pax. I highly recommend it! I purchased at my hotel.

Day 1

Arrival at Narita Airport in the morning. Take the Airport Limousine Bus which will cost you around Y3,100. In my opinion this is the most convenient mode of transportation if you bring big (and more than one) luggages. The driver will handle everything while you just hop on the bus and enjoy the two-hour ride to Shinjuku Station or Keio Plaza Hotel.  Another option is to use the subway, of course, from Narita or Haneda Airport.

I planned to have lunch at Ichiran Ramen but we were lost in the middle of nowhere that we had to stop to eat at another ramen restaurant, which was Kohmen

Pudding to accompany the delicious ramen

One of the best ramen I ate in Japan

Turned out that Ichiran was not far away from it.

Ichiran gave a unique dining experience. 

You have to order with a “vending machine”,

then a waiter will bring a piece of paper for you to tick your noodle and sauce preferences,

then you will dine in a room with long counters, where you will sit in front of the ramen chef,yet separated by a wall.

After your lunch, head to Shinjuku Station and take the Oedo Line to Yoyogi. 

Walk a while and you’ll find the peaceful Yoyogi Park.

It was quite a long walk before you reach Meiji Jingu Shrine.

Some wishes written and hung on these special 'bars'

I wish I knew what these were. But sure it was a great spot to take picture

Right after that, continue to Takeshita Street (there will be a sign so you don’t have to worry) to shop!

 

Don’t spend too much of your time here. We were a bit long here thus when taking the subway from Harajuku Station, it was rush hour already. The train was full; we were packed like sardines.  

After that we had dinner around Shinjuku area. 

I forgot the name of the restaurant but the food was so-so.

Day 2

We had breakfast at Kisuna Sushi in Shinjuku. It was nice! We ordered California roll and a set of seafood skewer. 

Then, we went to Tsukiji Fish Market. Sadly, it was closed. It rarely closed though, so we were just unlucky that time. For your trip, I really recommend you to go here.

Itinerary was ruined! We planned to switch our day-3 Nikko trip to day-2. Here is the journey.

First, we had to go to Tobu Asakusa Station. Take the Asakusa line to Asakusa Station, then walk a bit to Tobu Asakusa Station. Ask the staff there, they will tell you the nearest exit. After you get out of the station and before you cross the road, turn left. There is a nice soba restaurant: Nadai Fiujisoba.

The soba was light-tasted.

And… you have to order using a “vending machine” again.

P.s. check out the toilet up stairs! Compact!

We arrived at the station around 2pm and it was too late to buy ticket to Nikko (we only wanted to spend one day at Nikko). So if you want to go to Nikko, better to arrive there early in the morning at 7am to buy the around 8am train ticket from Asakusa Tobu Station to Tobu Nikko Station. This will be a tiring trip for a one-day Nikko trip. You have to wake up early in the morning to go to Asakusa Station, not to mention transferring trains. Nevertheless, it is cheaper as you can pay around Y2000 that also includes transportation in Nikko to Kegon waterfall and Lake Chuzenji. Another alternative is to ride the Shinkansen train, which I will explain later, as we happened to choose this alternative.

I bought this in a mall right beside the ticket shop. There were 2 choices of favour: matcha and honey

A must buy: Fugetsu Do.

Failed to go to Tsukiji and Nikko, we went to Sensoji Temple. We were around Asakusa and the temple was the best choice to spend our time in. On your way to Sensoji Temple, there will be lots and lots of shops! I personally think that this is one of the best shopping areas to buy authentic souvenirs of Japan.

For Sensoji Temple, I would rate 7.0/10. It is majestic, it is big, but too crowded! You might experience difficulties to take good pictures here, as compared to the Meiji Shrine.

Next, we went to Ginza. I do not recommend anyone to go here. Everything was expensive as it was a place of high-end products. Uniqlo was so-so too.

Nevertheless, do try to stop by Gyu-An, a restaurant famous for its Kobe beef. Unfortunately, we spent 2 hours looking for this place and when we finally found it, all tables were booked. To go here, you will find Uniqlo on your right. At the corner of the block, turn left (cross the road) and you’ll find Ginza Lion. Continue walking. Ask where Dotour bakery is. Once you find it, Gyu-An is right next to it. Good luck! (p.s. Maybe you need reservation).

Speaking of bakery, you need to visit Pompadour. It is located at Ginza 7. I bought the matcha and raspberry roll.

 

 

We went back to Shinjuku and ate at Bonbori. It is located at the back of Kisuna Sushi.

 Order anything there, coz everything was good!

Day 3

Mom was sick early in the morning. We had brunch at Sangokuichi, where I ordered Katsu.

 The portion was huge. I would rate the taste 8/10.

Dad and I went to Tokyo Station. Now pay attention closely: you need to visit Tokyo Station if you want to travel seriously. The staffs were helpful and one of them spoke English quite well. She gave us the train schedule from Shinjuku to Utsonomiya, then to Nikko.

We decided to take the Shinkansen, where early in the morning, we will go to Nikko, then back to Tokyo, then continue to Kyoto. This was done as unexpected things had happened on Day 2. We had no better choices, so we paid Y2,400 per pax for tomorrow’s trip. It was more expensive compared to taking the Asakusa Line, yet it was faster and more convenient. Plus, we got to try the fastest train in the world.

Back to Shinjuku, we ate our dinner at Seikoen. Delicious Korean BBQ, you should definitely visit it.

Day 4

You’ll be given 3 tickets to Nikko and 3 tickets from Nikko. The gates will work according to how many tickets you insert in. The station staff will help you, but the machines had pictures on it to indicate how many tickets you should insert. Planning to use the same itinerary? Well, we chose the 7.12am train from Tokyo Station to Utsonomiya Station, then 8.23am from Utsonomiya to Nikko Station.

So, here we go. We woke up at 5am, left hotel at 6am. Took the subway to Tokyo Station (Chuo Line) from Shinjuku Station. At Tokyo Station, do not exit. Change line, insert 3 tickets (Chuo Line ticket, Shinkansen ticket and local train to Nikko ticket). Choose platform 5 to go to Utsonomiya.

At Utsonomiya, do not exit, only change platform. Insert 2 remaining tickets.

The local train to Nikko has no reservation.

You’ll spend total around 2 hours of traveling time. At Nikko Station, purchase 2-day pass, Y2,000 per pax. Really recommend this. Take the bus to Toshugu Shrine...

You must visit Toshugu Shrine. Super majestic and historically important

...then go to bus stop number 83. From 83, go to 84.

Vicinity of Bus Stop number 84

At 84, walk opposite of the bus direction, turn right, walk straight and you’ll find bus stop number 9. Number 9 is the Shinjishisando bus stop (same name with bus stop number 84, but different bus and different place!), where you have to take the Tobu Bus to Chuzenji Station. 

Time table of both the station bus and Tobu bus

At Chuzenji Station, turn right on the main road for the Kegon Falls (5 mins walk)

... or turn left for the Chuzenji Lake (10 mins walk).

You can even see the bottom of the river...

There were some small restaurants and souvenir shops there, so do not worry of getting hungry. Last, take the bus from Chuzenji Onsen to Shinkyo Bridge.

After Shinkyo bridge, take the bus back to Tobu Nikko Station.

Nikko – Utsonomiya – Tokyo – Kyoto. There were no direct trains, so you need to go back to Tokyo and take the Nozomi Shikansen to Kyoto for another 2-hour trip.

Arrival at Kyoto. We stayed at Matsubaya Ryokan. Such a cozy tiny hotel. If you go out to find Avanti ahead, you are at the wrong exit. You need to go to the back of the building through McDonnalds. Once you find Kyoto Tower, walk straight for several blocks (quite far, you need to pass the Kyoto Station Hotel too) until you find a tiny street with 4 statues. Turn right there and the ryokan is at your right side.

Vicinity of Matsubaya Ryokan

Day 5

Had breakfast at Honke Daiichiasahi. From Kyoto Station (yesterdays route, facing the Kyoto Tower), turn right. Walk for 2 blocks I think, you’ll find Karasuma dori turn right.

It is a different type of ramen. Not creamy, but instead, really porky. RECOMMENDED!

Shopping at Kyoto? Gion it is!  We took bus no 206 from Kyoto Station (you’ll be given a bus map once you purchased the bus pass). I found Gion interesting, with high quality goods. A bit expensive, but please spend your time here rather than Teramachi St. etc. Gion has unique, authentic Japanese products that you should not miss.

If you are lucky, you may meet the real geisha. They may appear during afternoon

You can rent kimono

Nama Yatsuhasi!!! So soft, sweet, and will never get tired of it!

Kyo Baumkuchen (Otabe). Sponge cake that I blows my mind.

I don't know is the name of it, but as far as I remeber it was a mixture of Uji Matha (cake-icing-cake)

We went to Pontocho as well.

Pontocho offered a unique Japanese streets experience.

Beautiful river with hills and city lights. There were lots of food too!

Small streets with restaurants and souvenir shops on the left and right, with people crowding the pathway are definitely great places to roam.

Day 6

We went to Fushimi Inari. WOW! Food, souvenirs along the way. It was nearly as lively as Asakusa street shops.

If you just want to take pictures at the phenomenal red gate, spend max an hour here. It should be enough.

Get your lunch here too,

Inari, at Fushimi Inari

then head to Arashiyama.

We did not go to Arashiyama because we had to go to Gion (we made a wrong transaction on day 5). At Gion, we stopped by Nana’s Green Tea and enjoyed 3 green tea desserts. 

 

Yummy!

 We went to Osaka using the JR Line Y560, stopped at Osaka Station, then changed to Midosuji subway line to Namba coz we stayed there. Then we had our dinner at Tenkappin.

 

 

The ramen was okay (7/10), and the chahan was a bit better (7.6/10).

Day 7

Breakfast at Yoshinoya,

brought a unique donut, I think it was olive oil donut (?) but it was so good.

Then went shopping at Namba Station.

Took the  Midosuji Line to Umeda Station. Why? Snoopy Town! It is located at Hankyu Sanbangai. Not so difficult to get there. Bear in mind that you have to go to the South Mall through B2F or 1F. The store is located at B1F, near Body Shop and Kiddy Land.

We took subway to Shinsaibashi, and headed to Daimaru. And we found another Snoopy store! It was more expensive but the products were so Japanese that we purchased some items there.

From Daimaru, we went to Namba, and stopped by at Dotonbori, then ate Okonomiyaki at Botejyu. 

I would give 7.8/10. The yakitori was 9/10 and the soba was 7.2/10. 


Here are some pictures to translate how metropolis Osaka is

Dotonbori! Food food food

The famous king crab place everyone keeps talking about...

...while I could only admire how cute the crab was

The "standing ramen". For people who are rushing that they can't sit even for awhile

Day 8

Okay, Osaka was confusing because there were too many shops along the way that it was easy to lose your way.

So I cannot give any specific directions to Koganko, where we ate a bowl of delicious cold soba.

I would rate 8.2/10 for Koganko.

 

We also found a tiny eatery called Party Land Frozen Yogurt (8.7/10 for the banana strawberry frozen yogurt).

We then took the light green subway line to Osaka Castle from Nagoshimaru Station. Such a peaceful area despite it located at the Osaka Business Center.

We went back to Namba and had early dinner at Pepper Lunch.

You must eat at Pepper lunch when coming to Japan. I did not regret my decision!

 

...then took rapit Train to Kansai Airport.

While waiting for the plane we bought these

KitKat Sakura is a must buy! I love it more than KitKat Matcha. You can only buy this at the airport because it is only available during the cherry blossom season